I have a problem - an understatement if ever there was such a thing. I am experiencing a crisis of faith. Of hope. And of love. All that remain, and all called to question. I'll spare you, my readers, the details that have rattled me so, suffice it to say that I find myself looking ever upon a person to set my mind at ease. The tragedy here is that I know better. I chase rabbits knowing that I could never catch one. Not on my own. I see enemies where I should see friends. And I die when I should live. They say the first step to recovering from a problem is admitting that you have one. But they don't tell you that you're bound to stumble repeatedly along the way. Believe me, friends, when I say that my body and soul are battered and bruised. I have stumbled more than any man should stumble - any man, that is, who knows so well the better as I do.
I don't pretend to know where I'm going. What I'm doing. Not anymore. How can any of us know when we are so fatally flawed by nature? The comfort here is that we don't have to know. Because He knows. We need only to learn to have faith in Him. And to let Him do what He does. It's not an easy lesson, but it's one that I keep coming back to over and over again. One I pray every day that I'll learn. And God willing, that I'll learn before it's too late.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen."
